Raising children requires much more than teaching them academic content. Many children struggle in social settings when confronted with unexpected or challenging situations because they lack the strategies to cope with a “stressful” situation. As a mom, I must prepare my boys for
life, including unfair situations and disappointments. Teaching them the principles of Stoicism can help them feel strong, happy, resilient, and capable of achieving their dreams.
What is Stoicism?
Stoicism is an ancient philosophy that focuses on developing virtues, focusing on what is within our control, and accepting external events with resilience. It teaches that true happiness comes from living in accordance with reason, accepting life’s challenges, and developing self-control.
Practice the following principles with your child to prepare them to navigate the world confidently.
What to Teach Your Child
1 .Be Grateful:Teach your child to look for and appreciate the good things in your life, even small ones.
2. Stay Calm and Think Before You Act: When you feel upset or angry, take a deep breath before reacting.
Example: If someone says something mean, instead of yelling back, take a moment to think about how you want to handle the situation.
3. Practice Kindness: Treat others how you want to be treated.
Example: Offer to share your toys with someone who might feel left out.
4. Keep Trying, Even When It’s Hard: Challenges help you grow. Don’t give up just because something feels tough. Have your child repeat the following affirmation: I can do hard things.
Example: Learning to ride a bike or solve a tricky math problem can be challenging initially, but you can overcome these adversities with perseverance.
5. Value Experiences and Virtues over Material Possessions: Things like toys or clothes are nice, but what really matters is being kind and making good choices in life.
Example: Instead of being sad about not having the newest video game, focus on having fun with the games you already have.
6. You Can Choose How You Feel: Help your child understand that they are in control of their feelings, and no one can make them feel inadequate unless they allow it.
Example: If someone teases you, you can ignore them and stay happy because you know you have power over your emotions. Teaching children to know their worth and to find it within themselves can help them dismiss other people’s misperceptions about them.
7. Learn From Mistakes: Mistakes are okay and should be used as learning opportunities. Ask your child what they learned from making them and how they can learn to do better next time.
Example: If you spill your drink, think about how to be more careful in the future.
8. Be Patient: Good things take time, and it’s okay to wait. Waiting helps build your patience muscle.
Example: Waiting for your turn at a game or for cookies to bake in the oven is part of the process. Embrace waiting and see as part of the journey.
9. Be Brave: It’s okay to feel scared, but don’t let fear stop you from doing the right thing.
Example: Speaking up when someone is being mean to a friend can be intimidating even though it is the right thing to do.
